I supervise a number of employees, and always try to help them develop skills relevant to their current work and their career. One employee requested training on project management, and we agreed on a course. She asked to take it online from home, on her own time. I thought there would be much more benefit for this employee on this topic in a classroom setting. I booked an evening course for one night a week for eight weeks, with time off in lieu. She refused to attend and went home on the opening night of the course. I tried to give this employee the best training our budget allowed. How else should I have handled this?

Kudos to you for being so supportive of employee training. Far too many organizations and supervisors give low priority to training. That attitude harms productivity and drives away the best employees.

However, I have to think there is a major communications issue in your office, or at least between you and this employee. Did she say why the evening version was not acceptable? Did you not listen or ignore her reason? Or is she not comfortable explaining herself to you? Perhaps you have not been open to earlier discussion with employees who needed family issues accommodated. Perhaps she has a medical condition that is embarrassing to explain, at least to you. Perhaps she thinks you will laugh at her or belittle the problem.

You should have asked WHY she wanted the online version, as most people do prefer to learn in a classroom setting when they can. She may be providing child or elder care in the evening. She might have volunteer work scheduled for that evening, or a hobby group. Or she might just get tired easily and be unable to cope with a three-hour stretch at the end of a work day. Or any of dozens of other legitimate reasons. Transportation to the course? A spouse who wants her at home in the evenings? Shyness about speaking up in a group? Remember that many people go to great lengths to hide invisible disabilities, fearing that knowledge of their epilepsy, chronic fatigue or other problem will hinder their career or cause pity. Once you know about the disability, you must follow Human Rights requirements for accommodation.

Generally, she has every right to think you needed her agreement before booking a course outside of working hours. Unless the work schedule normally includes evening time, and it can be scheduled without employee agreement, the evening time is their own. Employees do not owe you any reason when declining evening work if it is not part of their terms and conditions of work. Making time commitments for her without her agreement could be considered bullying, as you are trying to pressure her into attending.

Even if she is the only employee who is reluctant to talk to you about such issues, you still have to think about why this employee might be the only one who has trouble communicating with you. How is she different from the others? The only woman? The only staff member who is the primary caregiver for children? The only person from a particular ethno-racial minority? The oldest? The youngest? See if you can determine why your style and hers seem incompatible right now. Another manager in your organization might be able to help you with this analysis, or a human resources officer.

If, when considering what happened here, you realize other employees also seem reluctant to talk to you about personal issues that affect their work, you may need to seek training in communication. Choose a course designed for managers and supervisors. If she is the only one, then you may need training in managing diversity.

For now, make sure you arrange a time to speak to the employee when both of you are calm, and the setting is private. Do not take phone calls or accept interruptions. Have the conversation you should have had before, then try to mutually reschedule the training she needs and wants. This conversation will form the basis for better communication and greater understanding in the future.

Since 1992, Jane Garthson has dedicated her consulting and training business to creating better futures for our communities and organizations through values-based leadership. She is a respected international voice on governance, strategic thinking and ethics. Jane can be reached at jane@garthsonleadership.ca.

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