Do you ask yourself questions? Not, “Where did I put my keys?” kinds of questions. But questions about how you are leading? Do you ask yourself what you can do better, differently, or continue doing in a new way?
We all ask ourselves questions. Unfortunately, many of the questions we ask ourselves are poor quality questions. That’s because most of the questions we ask ourselves are unconscious.
- What is wrong with people?
- When will things ever change?
- Why can’t they ever get it right?
Unconscious questions can lead you down the wrong path. With flawed questions, you will not discover the outcomes that you desire. The only place these questions will lead you is down the road to blame and finger-pointing of others and yourself! That won’t take your team forward or your leadership to the next level.
Look again at the list of questions above. Notice they look at the past with a judgmental air or a fault-finding expedition. They look for who to lay the blame on rather than where you can take responsibility. These questions focus on the problem rather than solutions.
Poor quality questions leave you feeling powerless and incapable of making changes. Feeling helpless, incapable and unable to evoke change puts you in the place of being a victim of the circumstances, your employees’ behaviour or because, that’s just the way things are.
To develop your leadership and to develop your team, you need to take back your inner power. Instead of these victim based questions, you need to ask quality questions that put you back in control.
Quality questions are questions that produce valuable answers giving you something you can do, point you in a direction and give you a sense of hope and optimism. Answering quality questions are worthwhile because they move you and your team forward.
As you craft questions, think of them as an investment. What you put in is what you get out. The question you ask affects the answer you get. Therefore, it is essential to craft your questions wisely and with intention developing questions that will move you closer to where you want to go.
Asking quality questions starts with being mindful and intentional. You have to be deliberate in the way you craft your query. It will take time to refine what you are asking as your questions will change and evolve as you go. You will need to make time and space to reflect.
When you ask one quality question, your answer will increase your awareness. The more aware you are, the more thoughtful you will be about another question. Each subsequent question will increase in quality. You will find the calibre of the question or series of questions strengthens. Quickly you will hear the answer to your question in your mind or voiced aloud, and you’ll improve the next question.
Let me give you an example of how the questions will evolve. Notice the Q with a plus beside it indicates a better quality question.
Q: Why me?
Q+ Why not me?
A: Ok, I am the leader. I guess it makes sense that people would have lots of demands for me.
Q: Why can’t they at least answer questions for themselves once in a while?
Q+: Have I encouraged them to figure a solution out first before they come to me?
Q+: Have I trained them on how to think for themselves?
Q+: What specific training helps people be better at constructive thinking?
Q+: What would I have to teach them to get them to take more initiative in finding out the answer for themselves?
Q+: What company culture would I need to create, or what type of environment would need to evolve in our company to make it safe for my employees to test coming up with their solution?
Q+: When they have come to me for help, have I prompted them first to tell me what possible solutions they have come up with?
Notice what happened to you as you read the questions above. My guess is rather than feeling like a victim of your circumstances. You started to get curious. You may have also noticed that you felt somewhat empowered and even excited. Rather than looking at your employees with a sense of bitterness, resentment and exasperation, you didn’t focus on them. You concentrated on what YOU could do to help them.
Here is another example. Notice the direction that the two questions send you.
Q: What is wrong with this team?
Backwards, blaming and fault finding.
Versus
Q+: What parts of this team are working well?
Forwards, open, and strengths-focused.
You could then add:
Q+: What would this team need to do to become even stronger?
You will note in the examples that they often start with a “why” question.
Avoid why questions as they tend to take us down the wrong path. When you hear the “why” question come out, work to change the question to why or how question.
Tips on crafting your questions.
1) Create a time and space to create quality questions.
I know leaders don’t have a ton of time for self-reflection. But, don’t wait for the time to show up; make time for this. It’s important. It may be simply shutting off the radio on your commute and using that quiet time to talk through a question sequence.
2) Get clear on the direction you want to go with your answer.
Questions send you in search of answers. They point us in a direction. Therefore, you must craft your questions so they point you towards the future, solutions and new learnings.
3) Ask a series of questions, even if you don’t have the answer to them.
Each time you explore new questions, you will have new insights that lead to a better quality question.
Learning to ask quality questions empowers you to find answers that strengthen your leadership and your team. It’s worth the time and effort to craft this skill. What’s more, as you become skilled, imagine what would happen if you taught this skill to your team!
If you want to learn more about crafting questions that help you and your team excel, click here to get a free webinar and worksheet: Quick Journaling for Effective Leadership. This is one of the monthly webinars inside of my membership site: The Training Library which provides ongoing affordable and easily accessible personal and professional development opportunities for women leading in Canada’s non profits. With the webinar you will get a page full of journal prompts to help you start your question series off right!
Leadership Development Coach Kathy Archer helps women leader’s ditch survival mode and enjoy impactful leadership. Develop your confidence * Maintain your composure * Lead with integrity!
- Author of Mastering Confidence.
- The host of the podcast From Surviving to Thriving.
- Blogging for women leading in nonprofits