People on the verge of retiring or recently retired often express a desire in the next chapter of their lives to find the things that bring them joy. Turns out, they’re on the right track. There are good reasons to let more joy into our lives but seeking joy itself might not be the way to find it.
Being surprised by joy
William Wordsworth begins his poem Surprised by Joy, with this:
“Surprised by joy—impatient as the Wind
I turned to share the transport—”
What a great description of the impulse to share the experience of joy with someone else who will understand what gave us joy and may also be uplifted by it.
Today, it’s so easy to grab our phone to text or call someone to tell them about that amazing thing that just happened. Or take a picture to hold onto the experience. But the best is when we experience mutual joy with someone else about the same thing in real time. The shared memory can be experienced over and over again.
Alas, in Wordsworth’s case, the person he wants to share his joy with has died. In grief, joy seems inappropriate and surprising in its ability to sneak up on us even in circumstances when we’re most vulnerable and be, at once, an elixir and an aggravator.
Maturing into adulthood and becoming fully occupied with life’s never-ending concerns, can put joy on the back burner. It’s not that potentially joyous moments don’t happen, they just aren’t seen, might be minimized, not appreciated, or even subconsciously blocked.
Thankfully, joy is always there ready to be rediscovered when we’re ready to let it in. Perhaps that’s why in retiring the wish to “find the thing that brings me joy” or focus on the things that we know make us joyful, is such a prevalent aspiration. Suddenly, we have the time and freedom to go there. Perhaps we also care less about what others think now that we’ve left the work culture behind and feel emotionally safer to discard the armour.
Whatever the stimulus, there are good reasons to let joy in every day.
Why we need joy in our lives
In William Wordsworth’s time, a study of joy might have been the purview of philosophers. Today, neuroscientists and psychologists have taken up the baton with a more scientific approach. Here is what some of their research reveals about the benefits of joy.
- Joy makes the future seem brighter:
Joy can broaden our perspective, allowing us to see beyond immediate challenges to a brighter horizon and contribute to a more positive mindset generally. This is important as we launch into our lives post-career. A broad perspective and positive outlook help us envision and take advantage of the possibilities and opportunities available to us in the next phase of life. - Joy inspires us to play, expand our curiosity, and connect with others:
Finding your desired path post-career can be more of a meandering exploration than a straight line. The ability to be curious, play at new things and say ‘yes’ to new experiences makes for a richer journey full of fun. What’s more, you’ll be more likely to eventually find a place you want to settle for a while, if not forever. Connecting with others on your journey by expanding your social network, “finding your tribe”, or otherwise building community is key to our happiness and aging well. Simply sharing your own moments of joy may be the start to accessing the many benefits, including shared joy, of time spent with people whose company you enjoy. - Joy shortens bad moods and helps us get over them more quickly.
No one wants to spend their time in a bad head space for very long regardless of their life stage. Unfortunately, in making the transition to retirement, many people experience very negative emotions caused by any number of things that sometimes devolves into paralyzing depression. Knowing that even small moments of joy can contribute to making that bumpy road shorter, being open to joy might be the one thing you can do when everything else seems too much to begin. - Joy can increase creativity, knowledge, and resilience.
When you’re feeling a bit down, bored or just tired for no good reason, being “surprised by joy” can get your creative juices flowing again, lift your mood and energize you. It works the other way too. Engaging in a creative activity can bring deeply felt experiences of joy along with it when an idea turns into something worth celebrating. Joy can motivate us to try and in the trying, often gain new knowledge. With respect to resilience, being open to joy helps us get through tough times (see number 3). Bolstering resilience by embracing joy helps us thrive rather than just survive to the very end of our lives however long they may be.
Let joy find you
It may be that looking for the thing that brings you joy may not be your best quest since joy comes so unprompted, weakens to simple pleasure with every repetition of a once joyful experience, and never lasts but a few moments. Instead, let’s let joy find us. Let it surprise us when we least expect it, and full-heartedly revel in it. Let it point us to what might bring us longer-lasting happiness.
Marilyn Hintsa is an accredited Retirement Readiness Coach who works with leaders of all kinds that want to continue making a difference in their post-career lives. On her own retirement journey since 2019, Marilyn lives the perspective that retirement is no reason to stop and go out to pasture, and every reason to now “do life” your way. She is dedicated to helping her clients navigate one of life’s biggest transitions with confidence and excitement for what comes next. Connect with Marilyn at linkedin.com/in/hintsa/ or book a discovery call at www.ulead.ca.
