Conflict in my workplace has been creeping up more often. I am not comfortable with conflict. Do you have any helpful tips?

Workplace conflict is inevitable, since people have different perspectives on situations. When emotions and perceptions are left unchecked or steer the conversation, these different perspectives can easily turn personal.

In their research on leadership and influencing styles, K. Patterson, et al describe the results of a poorly handled difficult situation quite succinctly: “Disagreements, poorly handled, lead to poor decisions, strained relationships, & eventually to disastrous results.” We have all witnessed or participated in a situation that has gone down this road at some point in our personal or professional lives. As a result, we may be afraid to enter into a difficult conversation and avoid it altogether.

Skewed perceptions of power or assumptions about others intentions, thoughts, or feelings influence how we respond to a person or a situation and guide the outcome, whether it is positive or negative. People can lose sight of the fact that they are working towards a common goal and that that goal can be reached in many different ways.

Conflict is a normal part of interacting with others and can be healthy for people and organizations. Handled well, conflict can expand our awareness and support learning and growth for individuals, teams and organizations.

Before heading into a conflict conversation consider the following:

• Is the person’s performance blocking your organization’s goals or slowing down service?
• Are the person’s actions blocking your own success?
• Is the person preventing other employees from completing their work effectively?
• Are you or others contributing to the problem?

Be authentic

Be open and honest about the issue and how it makes you feel. If you are uncomfortable with having the conversation, let the person know. By being your true self, you are inviting the other person to be open and honest as well.

State the real issue

Often we use blanket statements to describe a behaviour and by doing this, we muddy the communication. Be specific about the issue, be detailed and share the “why” about the issue.

Don’t: “You can’t seem to get your job done.”

Do: “You are not completing work assignments by specified due dates.”

Demonstrate a real desire to reach resolution

Create an environment that shows you are interested in reaching a resolution. Watch your language, both verbal and non-verbal, and listen carefully to the other person’s point of view. Only when someone feels you have heard their message are they ready to listen to yours. Communication that is full of anger lacks clarity, so leave your emotions at the door.

Seek resolution

Conflicts are not won, they are resolved. Approach the situation with the belief that the person you are confronting has good intentions. By shifting your own mindset first, you are opening your mind to a resolution as opposed to considering it a win/lose situation.

Consider various options

Most situations can be resolved a number of ways. Be open to exploring a variety of options for resolving the conflict. By creating options, you are demonstrating a desire to reach a resolution.

Evaluate and select an option that works for both of you

Resolution may involve some give and take. Find the option that works well for both of you. When the solution meets the needs of both parties, a successful outcome is more likely.

Demonstrate value for the relationship

Acknowledge that the relationship is important to you. Check to ensure that the other person also feels the conflict was appropriately resolved by saying something like, “I am glad we talked about this, we work together every day and it is important to me that we maintain a good relationship. How do you think we did?” Remember, resolving conflict is about preserving relationships.

Workplace conflict is inevitable but if handled well can lead to developing stronger bonds, increased trust and more innovation in the workplace.

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