I have never met a job seeker who, after experiencing initial job search rejection, did not feel some level of inadequacy. After spending hours polishing their resume and cover letter, mulling over the perfect phrasing, they discover that, after submitting their application, instead of the anticipated slew of interview invitations they are faced with a canned rejection letter or, worse still, the bafflement of a lack of response. At this point, most job seekers start to feel that something is amiss and internalize the rejection as a deficit with their work history, their skill set or another personal factor. It’s a powerful reminder that, along with a job search plan, it is equally important for job seekers to have a solid self-care plan.

We often view good self-care from a physical perspective and so we focus on getting enough sleep, eating well and engaging in regular physical exercise. While these practices are important and much needed, taking care of ourselves on a mental and emotional level is also critical and involves being honest with ourselves about the debilitating effect that believing our ‘mental stories’ can have on undermining our self-confidence.

The first step is awareness. What is the voice in your head saying about your lack of success with the job search process? The most common stories that I hear, begin with “No one will hire me because…”: “I am too old” or “too young”, “I have worked for the same organization for too long”, “I have worked for too many organizations” or “I have a gap in my work history”. While there may be some objective truth to these beliefs, in reality they are nothing but our thoughts and not necessarily a reflection of what potential employers are really thinking. It may be hard to see this when we seemingly have evidence that we are not hirable since the phone isn’t ringing. But do we really know the reason? By examining our stories a little more closely we can begin to free ourselves from our mind’s grip.

To inquire into the nature of the stories we tell ourselves is to firstly recognize them and to see them for what they are: thoughts in the mind which we can choose to believe and remain stuck, or choose to question. Questioning the storyline involves asking ourselves “Is this really true?” Can we know with 100% accuracy, for example, that no will hire us because we are over 55? Or under 25? Too experienced or inexperienced? When we see that we really don’t know for certain what the employer is thinking we can then turn our attention to the truth of the matter– there will always be employers who don’t mind whatever barrier we believe we may have. After having supported thousands of people through the transition of unemployment, I have seen people being hired despite the fact that they are older, new to the workforce, new to Canada, returning to work after a long absence and so on.

Detaching ourselves from these stories also allows us to escape the feeling of being stuck, so that we can take objective stock of our situation and determine what active steps can actually strengthen our candidacy as job seekers.

Some of the action steps that I have seen help are:

• Taking an industry related course that is in alignment with an emerging trend
• Pampering yourself a little so that you can feel at your best
• Engaging in volunteer work closely related to the role you are seeking to add some recent experience to your resume and expand your network of contacts
• Removing some jobs listed in the career history section of your resume if you had a stint where you changed organizations every few months

As difficult as unemployment can be, it also presents an opportunity for reflection and contemplation so that we can reconnect with what it is that we truly love to do. Questioning our beliefs about our personal stories allows us to recognize our desire to express our inherent gifts and talents. As we stay in touch with this deeper need, we can create a future that will allow us contribute to the world in our own unique way.

Luciana Longo, Employment Settlement Specialist at Job Skills, has been working in the career development industry for over 12 years, currently supporting newcomers to Canada and assisting them with their integration into the Canadian labour market. Job Skills is a community-based employment training agency, providing employment, business, newcomer and employer services in the GTA since 1988.

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