People on the verge of retiring or recently retired often express a desire in the next chapter of their lives to find the things that bring them joy. It’s as if they’ve finally reached a place in life where they’re ready to off load some of the weight they’ve been carrying and travel a bit lighter. And more joy, an emotion that can feel light as air, is a fantastic way to begin.

But what exactly is joy and how do we get more of it?

Let’s start with some wisdom from author C.S. Lewis who once described joy this way: “real joy … jumps under one’s ribs and tickles down one’s back and makes one forget meals and keeps one (delightedly) sleepless o’ nights”. He went on to add, “…one second of joy is worth 12 hours of pleasure”. So, for Lewis, joy is different than pleasure. Turns out it’s also different than happiness.

Joy is momentary, fleeting, an aroused state that can’t be sustained for very long no matter how you try. Joy also tends to diminish with every repetition of an experience that once inspired joy. Happiness, on the other hand, is more long lasting and can be reinforced by repeating things that make us happy. In the best case, happiness is an underlying state akin to contentment that persists even in challenging times, buoying resilience.

Opening ourselves to joy

Intuitively, having more joy in our lives should contribute to greater happiness, but how do we go about getting more? The trick is to open ourselves up to receiving joy. Sounds easy but it might take some practice if joy has been largely absent for you for some time. Joy will likely find you if meet it halfway by:

• Opening your eyes to what’s interesting, beautiful in whatever surroundings you find yourself;
• Opening your ears to the sounds of nature, of music, of voices talking or laughing, even the discords and harmonies of the city; 
• Opening your mind to a new way of processing what you see, hear and otherwise absorb; 
• Opening your heart when joy bubbles up even in the smallest way.

When it does, take time to savour it, notice where in your body you feel it.

This may not be easy or come naturally if it’s a new way of being for you. The work comes in trying, building new habits, saying YES to new experiences so you gradually build awareness of the essence of what makes you joyful. Once you nail it, you can start to seek out the kinds of experiences that are likely to make you joyful more often.

Marilyn Hintsa is an accredited Retirement Readiness Coach who works with leaders of all kinds that want to continue making a difference in their post career lives. On her own retirement journey since 2019, Marilyn lives the perspective that retirement is no reason to stop and go out to pasture, and every reason to now “do life” your way.  She is dedicated to helping her clients navigate one of life’s biggest transitions with confidence and excitement for what comes next. Connect with Marilyn at linkedin.com/in/hintsa/ or book a discovery call at www.ulead.ca.