All of us, at some point in our working lives, will encounter and have to deal with difficult or irate clients. In the community and social services sector, frontline counsellors often encounter difficult clients on a regular basis. We see people who are upset, angry and may even swear at us if they are not satisfied with the services they expect. Now hold your tongue and take a couple of deep breathes; you are not alone, you are not being singled out. Situations where clients become irate and upset are quite common in today’s workplace. Remember not to break down, for you can overcome this obstacle with difficult clients.

Don’t mirror the client’s behaviour

The first thing you will want to do is to not behave or react in the same manner as the client. As a frontline worker, it is important to use your counselling and active listening skills to find out what is making the client angry. In most cases, you will discover that most anger stems from a general misunderstanding or expectation the client might have. Here are some clarifying questions to ask: “Is there a problem with the service?” or “Is there something stressful in your life you are presently dealing with?”

Remaining calm and maintaining good composure are equally important. Often in our busy, stressful schedules we forget to ask clarifying questions and rush to solve the situation or problem quickly. However, it is important to remember to let the client express and explain the frustration, anger and stressful events in a healthy manner.

Help the client understand the problem

Helping the client to look at his or her situation more objectively – examining the situation as the problem and not the person as the problem – is also important. Once this is accomplished, you can then work with the client on breaking the problem down into smaller parts that might present an easier way for both you and the client to work toward a resolution. Asking the client the following questions during this time might help to move the resolution forward: “What is the most important thing in this situation that you would like to work on right now?” or “What do you feel might be standing in the way of correcting this situation?”

Most clients dealing with difficult situations are quite often unaware of what it is they need, which is why it is important to help them understand their needs, even during a conflict. If we remain open and calm and remember to follow through on requests the client has made during this time, it helps to establish mutual support, respect and trust. This results in a more effective rapport with the client.

Be there for the client

Often difficult or irate clients are just looking for someone to understand and have empathy for the pain they might be dealing with. As a frontline worker, make and stick to any agreements you make with the client. Letting the client know that you are working toward his or her best interests, and that you are continually interested in meeting his or her needs as much as possible offers comfort and encouragement for both the counselor and client.

Finally, it is important to recognize that conflict can be healthy. It can offer us an opportunity to learn about others, better understand differences, and come together to resolve issues or situations that can be disruptive and/or complex. Not all conflicts will be resolved or will result in a resolution. However, if we take these first steps in dealing with difficult clients we help to maintain our interpersonal relationship with the client, but we also help the client to become successful in his or her interpersonal relationships with others.

Randolph Ouimet is an employment and dispute resolution consultant in Toronto.