There is a word out there that has many career-oriented people crawl under their desks never to be seen again. This same word causes stress to those who cannot understand how to do it, and breathes fear into those who speak its name. I believe that one of the scariest words to a lot of people is the very same topic for this article: NETWORKING!! But is networking a necessity? And is it as stressful and as frightening as many presume it is? In order to find out, I asked Paul Nazareth, manager of planned giving and personal gifts for the Catholic Archdiocese of Toronto. He is very passionate about networking and truly believes in assisting others to maximize their potential.
No need for fear
The obvious answer to the questions above is a resounding yes. Networking is a necessity, and it can be stressful and frightening, but only if you let it be. It doesn’t have to be a scary process and the key to that is knowledge. When asked to define networking, Nazareth quotes the philosophy of Business Networking International that “Givers Gain.” As he sees it, networking should always be a “win-win relationship.” And contrary to what one might think, Nazareth says that networking is done better by introverts, as opposed to extroverts. “The problem with extroverts is that they always want to one-up people on stories. They can’t actively listen and they have trouble getting out of conversations.” Essentially an extrovert has to work twice as hard. As Nazareth puts it, “An introvert is learning from the ground up, but an extrovert has to unlearn most of the habits that they’ve lived with throughout their life.” Therefore, introverts have to lose their initial fear of becoming involved with networking, while extroverts need to shed their fear of not being the centre of attention.
How to get started
Once that fear is conquered, the focus must shift to becoming an effective networker. Like most things in life, knowledge comes from studying. Nazareth suggests reading Work the Pond! Use the Power of Positive Networking to Leap Forward in Work and Life by Darcy Rezac, Judy Thomson, and Gayle Hallgren-Rezac. According to him, it is “the perfect starter for everybody. It discusses things such as how to get into the conversation, how to make an impact, and how to get out of the conversation. The book also talks about networking from work, personal and social perspectives.” Nazareth also recommends Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi, which he feels “is the right book for people who are currently active in networking.”
Where to go from here
Knowledge is one thing, but practice makes perfect. Nazareth believes that “reading books is only half of it. It’s really about getting out there and actually doing it. You really have to integrate it into your business life.” But before you get out there, you have to take stock of where you’re at. “First, ask yourself if you are prepared,” advises Nazareth. “For example, if you are going to do professional networking, you need to make sure that you have a professional look. Then get assistance from a peer on how to dress, shake hands, etc.” Then discern what your style is. “Ask yourself if you are an enthusiastic, energetic, non-stop networker, or are you someone who needs to go to events, fulfill your goals, and then go rest.” And of course, know what your goals are before you start networking. “Before you go to an event you have to understand what you are looking for, what you have to offer; have a plan and stick to it. The biggest thing is to provide value to others.”
While networking, Nazareth believes that promising something to the person you are talking to is crucial. “This is a big personal thing of mine,” he explains. “If you want to create a relationship, you have to be interesting and promise something to every human being that you meet.” He says that keeping an open mind, reading up on relevant issues for a specific event, or reading today’s newspaper can help immensely. “It’s important to understand what you can offer. If you make yourself a hub of information on any topic, you then become the person that people turn to for information on that subject. It also helps if it is something that you are curious about because it is important not to fake it.”
The role of the Internet
A much more comfortable way for many people to network these days is by electronic means. Nazareth does not have a Facebook or Twitter account as he feels that Facebook can create a fake networking feel. “You can have 500 friends on Facebook, but you have no more close relationships in your life,” he points out. “You can have a network online, but you need to know what it is that you are doing for people and what they are doing for you in order to keep those relationships strong.” He is, however, a big supporter of LinkedIn, which he feels can provide enormous value.
“I’ve been able to connect with people that I’ve never had access to or I didn’t even know existed,” Nazareth says. “I book meetings and find new people to mentor through LinkedIn. It’s a great site to find out how we can all help each other.” But he admits he was skeptical at first. “I wouldn’t use it initially because I didn’t know what it would do for me. I didn’t have a plan and therefore would not use it to connect. Then, once I realized what I wanted to use it for, I figured out what it’s going to do for me and how much time I want to invest in it.” He advises creating a good online profile that can do something for you. “Some people treat it as an online resume and others like an online bio. Really, it’s the ultimate development tool and if you can add to or benefit from this, you can be a part of it.”
However, even with LinkedIn, Nazareth doesn’t lose sight of the big picture. “For me, LinkedIn is nothing more than a collection of people that I have a real-world relationship with. I have met face-to-face with 90% of the people that I’m linked to. When somebody asks if they can be linked with me, I say yes, but it comes with a price.” He goes on to explain his process: “First you’re going to have to meet with me for one hour over a cup of coffee to tell me how I can help you. You can’t link to me unless I know what I can do for you in your business and, if possible, your personal life too. It’s a very fulfilling thing for me.”
Tips and final thoughts
Some people see LinkedIn as an online business card, but what should be put on an actual business card? According to Nazareth, “it has to be clear on how to reach you…the simpler, the better.” He also feels they are important for face-to-face note taking. “When I meet somebody, I make two promises and I ask them for something. The way I remember is to write it on that card. I write where I met them, what we talked about and what I promised.”
Another tip that Nazareth has is to volunteer. “You meet people that you would not meet in your normal sphere. You get to be a different person than you are in your 9 to 5 day job or in your personal life. The benefits are very concrete.” He also feels that “networking is about gratitude. The appreciation of all the peers, friends and family who made time to share of themselves, skills and resources to help further my life and career. I do all I do for the purpose of paying forward their kindness.” Finally, Nazareth reminds us that “networking at its best creates that win-win value out of each other. The important thing to remember is that it can be done throughout every facet of our lives.”
Karl Noseworthy is a freelance writer from Newfoundland who currently resides in Kitchener, Ontario. He can be reached at karlnoseworthy@hotmail.com.
