I am a program manager, delivering human service programs in my region. I have been told to do something that feels all wrong. I can’t break confidentiality to tell you what it is. I went through our code of conduct and the principles in our strategic plan, and can find no arguments to use against the direction I was given. What should I do?

First, pay attention to what your body is telling you. If your gut tells you something is wrong, or you can’t sleep at night, or you would be terrified of having your action publicized, then there likely is an ethical problem. You just cannot articulate it yet. And the guidance documents you consulted did not anticipate the kind of situation you now face.

I strongly recommend that you discuss this in confidence with a trusted colleague, or several. These could be peers in your organization, or maybe in your professional association if you cannot talk at work. You may find that simply describing the situation out loud gives you the answer you seek, but ask the colleagues anyway if you are being reasonable. Sometimes we overreact because of something in our past, and cannot think straight. If they agree that the direction causes ethical problems, they will help you find the words to explain your dilemma to your boss.

Some of us are lucky enough to have partners or friends or family members whose judgment and ability to keep a secret make them good choices for such discussions too.

Now you are in a position of being able to explain to your boss why you are having problems with the direction. Since you are a manager yourself, you well understand that bosses prefer people who come to them with solutions. I hope that in those prior discussions, you also identified options and talked about them.

Try analyzing those options against the mission, the sources you have mentioned for the organization’s ethical values, and your reasons for finding the original option unacceptable. Those may involve your personal values and consideration of the effect on others (both benefits and risks). The December 2004 column was about mission-based ethical decision-making. A future column will talk more about stakeholder considerations.

Make sure you have at least three options, because the first ones that come to mind are likely at opposite ends of a continuum. Look for a more moderate approach, and also make your thinking three-dimensional – most decisions have more than one continuum line that could be drawn. I have mentioned the “ethical third way” before, but sometimes only the fourth or fifth option feels right. Creativity is a great help in living an ethical life.

Sometimes, what feels right to you is simply not acceptable to your organization, and vice versa. If significant personal values are in conflict with those of the organization, you may have to leave. We can rarely tell that from a simple list of words; that is why organization-specific definitions and dialogues are so critical in the development of ethics documents. They also need to be kept current as organizations change. Perhaps your organization is having difficulty integrating a new program, client group, or set of funder requirements.

You can still consider a compromise before leaving. Perhaps duties could be rearranged so you are not part of the action you cannot condone. Your gut will tell you if you can live with that!

If you stay with the organization, do whatever you can to have the values statement and code of conduct reviewed and amended so others can get the guidance that was not available to you.

Since 1992, Jane Garthson has dedicated her consulting and training business to creating better futures for our communities and organizations through values-based leadership. She is a respected international voice on governance, strategic thinking and ethics. Jane can be reached at jane@garthsonleadership.ca.

To submit a dilemma for a future column, or to comment on a previous one, please contact editor@charityvillage.com. For paid professional advice about an urgent or complex situation, contact Jane directly.