Lost my job! Might lose my job! I’m over my head with debt! Quick! Grab a smoke, food, drink…

Strange advice, isn’t it? Yet, when stress and anxiety hit, many of us (most of us?) do exactly this; we turn to something outside of ourselves to medicate and stop the bad feelings. Can you imagine how the clients we help are feeling these days? And let’s be honest, how we’re feeling, too? If we (and our clients) are stuck on the regrets of the past and worried about the future, it’s pretty hard to do what is necessary in the present.

In this issue of Lessons Learned, we speak with Dave O’Brien from the University of Victoria about how to live a mindful life. Enjoy, and let me know what you think of the topic!

CharityVillage: What does “mindful living” mean?

Dave O’Brien: Jon Kabat-Zinn states that “mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.” It involves making a practice of bringing our attention more fully into immediate experience and breaking the spell of our mostly mental habits and preoccupations, what has been called the “automaticity” of the mind.

CV: What is the value of living a mindful life? What can it do for us?

DO: There’s a saying that invites us to consider that in dealing with the stuff of life “the problem is not the problem – our reaction to the problem is the problem.” I think this gets at what we mean when we use “stress” as a verb, i.e., “I’m stressing out over x, y or z…” and this reaction to discomfort readily leads to avoidance and distractibility. Mindfulness practice supports greater acceptance of thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations from moment to moment, and decreases identification with what your mind is constantly telling you about what reality is. It is not a panacea for our distress, yet provides a way to stay more engaged and potentially exercise increased choice and intention in responding to what matters.

CV: If we practice mindful living, can it also affect our personal and professional relationships? If yes, how?

DO: I’d say I was drawn to this practice out of necessity; some combination of nature and an adult life spent largely in academic and professional environments has trained my mind to be in a constant planning/problem-solving mode, what we call the “doing” mind. That has awakened a yearning over time for a greater sense of peace or just being. I’d say this is gradually working into more appreciation of personal and professional bonds that transcend what we’re doing or accomplishing. This past summer I participated in planning a team retreat day, and I believe that some qualities of mindfulness allowed us to join together with less fuss over an agenda and greater trust in the kind of spontaneous sharing and activity that did unfold. And we did have a truly great and meaningful time together.

CV: What are some strategies we can use to live mindfully?

DO: The Greek root of the word “therapy” means “to attend to” and many simple activities throughout our day are potentially therapeutic when engaged with mindfully. Like giving your full attention to a child, allowing time to cook veersus trying to get it out of the way in a rushed spirit. Thich Nat Hanh has a short, lovely book, Peace In Every Step, that explores ways of anchoring one’s spirit in everyday activities. Paying attention to your heart and an intention to remain curious and open-hearted also invites these qualities, as well as compassion for ourselves when we notice our small-mindedness. You might consider the various ways and means in your life that help you attend to your own experience more fully, and consider what constitutes your practice. Of course, there are formal practices like breath meditation, etc. that cultivate mindful awareness. And paying attention to the sensation of breathing from time to time is very valuable; it really is a fundamental way we restore ourselves energetically every minute of the day. Any practice like Tai Chi and yoga that brings more subtle attention to the body – the physical is such an antidote to the mental – promotes mindful qualities.

CV: How can mindful living help the clients we serve in the not-for-profit industry?

DO: Mindfulness promotes engaging with your life as it is, and assuming a more open stance in response to unpleasant thoughts, feelings and sensations. It provides an alternative to reflexive habits of trying to avert discomfort through avoidance and distraction/addiction. Finding out what draws out qualities of mindfulness in our clients’ lives is, arguably, more likely to support their ability to be effective in whatever sphere of life they’re faced with.

CV: Can mindful living be translated into “mindful working”? If yes, how?

DO: Taking a “breathing space” during your workday can be helpful. It involves tuning into your thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations for two to three minutes and anchoring yourself with awareness of the breath. Also, my colleagues and I frequently walk together at noon hour for 15 – 20 minutes.

CV: Can an organization be “mindful”? What would that look like?

DO: The quality of working relationships is, arguably, one of the more important variables in an effective organization. Mindfulness in this regard might suggest greater attentiveness and appreciation of our relationships and what others contribute.

CV: What is your best lesson learned about living a mindful life?

DO: We’re all a work in progress.

Dave O’Brien is a clinical social worker and has enjoyed a diverse practice in the Nelson/West Kootenay region of B.C. for twenty years, in the fields of mental health and addictions. Dave returned to Victoria in 2007 to join the University of Victoria Counselling Services team and so he and his wife could be closer to their young twin grandsons. Dave currently facilitates eight-week mindfulness stress reduction group programs for students.

Teresa Ierullo helps Canadian nonprofit organizations be bold enough to ask themselves the tough questions and to unearth the right direction for community-based programs and projects. She writes “Lessons Learned” bi-monthly. For more information and strategies visit www.justthefacts.ca.